Lately I've been especially grateful for my ever-changing (hopefully always strengthening) testimony, so I wanted to take a moment to record a few thoughts...
I'm grateful for my upbringing in the church. Lately I feel flooded with the realization of blessings from my childhood that I have taken for granted. I'm so grateful for the gospel principles that were taught to me and the example that was provided to me by parents. Their example of discipleship, marriage, parenthood, and service has given me a strength and foundation for which I will always be grateful. Yet, this past year as I have discussed faith with those of other religions as well as dear friends who have left the LDS religion, my commitment to Christ and God has been strengthened in unexpected ways. I'm a believer in light. I have always loved the truth that we all have the light of Christ within us. I like to picture some sci-fi image of God creating us; powerfully pulling in elements of the universe by simply extending his fingers, and all this matter is formed around a ball of light. That that light is the center of us. I believe it's that light that inspires people to do good in the world no matter what religion they have been exposed to. It's that light that stirs people to join the PTA, serve in the American Red Cross or even hold the door open for someone. And all of us love the feeling of light. All generous acts and words of kindness spread light in the world and those that spread light are filled with light themselves. As the scriptures say, "by their fruits ye shall know them" and I think you can know a lot about people by looking at their light, or their energy. For some reason, hearing about gospel topics in non-religious terms has helped me solidify my belief and understanding. We each have an aura. When other organizations talk about "becoming one" or "mindfulness" I think it's being in tune with the spirit. Recognizing that if you are humble and willing, you can tap into a power greater than yourself is understanding that by being humble and submitting your will to the Lord's, you can be influenced and prompted by his spirit. When we have this spirit, we can feel peace amidst turmoil. We can feel quiet in the crazy. I feel that the Lord has provided us with a church so that we can be supported and support others in our journey back to him. That the church is an institution to help us know God; to help us reach our potential. There are still doctrinal issues that I struggle with in the church, namely: church history, polygamy, temples, and the afterlife. But there are doctrinal issues that I can't deny have brought me joy and happiness, namely: the Book of Mormon, the New Testament, repentance, God's love, marriage, baptism, and tithing to name a few. My testimony of these concepts are solid enough that I want to have the faith and the grit to hold to the rod and proceed through any darkness. I am so grateful for the programs that the church has provided for us to feel His love more easily and frequently in our lives. I know that the more I try, the better I become. And I know that engaging as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints helps my in this process. I know my Savior lives and that he love me. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
January was wonderfully exhausting. Unfortunately it was a rough month of sleep between teething, fevers, potty-training, and bad dreams. But, as always, it felt good to get back into a routine after the holidays.
Rose continues to be a delight. She still have five teeth and is constantly smiling. She crawls so fast now and is pulling herself up on everything. She loves trying new foods and seems to love anything savory. One evening Elias and I were discussing the power of love that is felt each time she looks at us. Her eyes and smile have a warmth and comfort that is almost spiritual. I feel God's love through her. It occurred to me that with this gift, it is only fitting that her name is Rose, considering that is the most common object given when trying to express love. I love you Rose!
Joy...Joy! Joy. Joy!
I can't express the power that is packed in this little body. She is either utterly darling or painfully suffocating. She has developed a new habit of running away from me in public. I can't even laugh at the countless episodes we've had this month. It's been a real challenge. I do have to say though, we transitioned her out of diapers and she has been incredible. I can count the number of accidents on one hand and I haven't even been very good about checking to see if she needs to go. We sure love our Joy, but I'm so, so tired. She loves her friend Bennett and will do anything in order to play with him.
But of course, her love for Daddy still trumps all. He was in London for a week this month and she would constantly request to FaceTime him, but then bawl the entire time she saw him. Fierce love.
She loves Rose passionately and they get along great. Unless of course Rose tries to sit on my lap instead of crawl around. Joy is fine with me carrying Rose, but once I sit she feels that my lap is her territory.
Summer is a wonderful big sister and oldest child. She can often tell when Joy is challenging me and she'll offer to read her a book. Summer has such a kind heart and loves to please. She is growing up so quickly and it makes me sad. She is strong and smart and I love watching her try new things. It's funny to me that she leaves a trail of socks toward her bed just like her dad!
One day the kids were so excited for the forecasted snow storm, but when it ended up just being windy instead, Summer convinced the troops to all make kites to fly instead. She has an endless amount of fun ideas.
Boyd continues to surprise me. Sometimes he is very hesitant to try new things or talk to new people and other times he is confident and excited.
He continues to thrive on competition and loves to play rough. He is such a hard worker and has a sweet heart.
At school he made us a darling calendar and though he doesn't quite understand why, he has written me two love notes since that have included a picture of a coffee cup. (Because words can't "expresso" how much he loves me.)
Smith continues to love music and is always asking me when he can start piano, violin, trumpet (fill in the blank) lessons.
Lately it has fascinated me that when I peek in on him in primary or swimming lessons it looks like he isn't paying attention at all, but then when he is asked to perform he does it perfectly. One day he was having a chat with Elias when Elias asked, "Smith, sometimes it looks like you're deep in thought. What are you thinking about?" Smith responded, "I'm thinking about how to make the twos look more different than the fives on the clock so they don't look the same. The fives are okay, but the twos could be better."
He continues to pick up everything he finds, and much to my dismay it still often ends up in his mouth. Pennies, metal washers, pieces of paper, pieces of plastic...you name it. You'd think the cat poop incident when he was three would have taught him a thing or two.
One morning Summer asked to shovel the neighbor's drive and I told her it would be okay as long as she didn't touch their car. I guess the message didn't get to Smith, because when I checked on them three minutes later I caught him trying to wipe snow off the hood of their card with a picket from their fence. Luckily I caught him before any damage was done, but needless to say we will be keeping any neighborly service projects to cookie making for the time being.
Both Smith and Boyd are exceptional big brothers. They are always willing to help Rosie and take their job as her protectors very seriously.
One weekend we went up to Hartford so Elias and I could take turns attending the temple.
The kids had a blast playing at the hotel and swimming in the pool.
Elias continues to be the best dad in the world. One day Smith asked him for a ukulele and Elias made him one out of cardboard and duct tape.
My parents came for a few days while Elias was in London, and in addition to other things,
they made us this new height board which I love! Thanks Mom & Dad!
We hit our year mark here in Connecticut and threw a birthday celebration for our home. We drew a map of the house and filled it up with memories we have had in each room. We are so grateful to call this play home.
Much love to you and yours,
Brittany et al.
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